I ask this question when the following events or thoughts occur: Cars traveling too fast or slow on the freeway with their bright lights destroying the cornea of my eyes. Why do they insist on talking on their cell phones while ignoring the traffic around them? When I see news about Justin Bieber taking precedence...
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My father died when I was fifteen years old; an event that has been the most intense trauma I have ever faced. He had a stroke on November 7, 1966 and died two days later. Any sense of innocence was demolished. My confused and curious heart turned into a cold, hardened rock which was way...
I am currently surrounded by friends who have lost love ones recently. During the best of times, it is very challenging to have someone close to you die. It is totally overwhelming to find yourself grieving during the holiday season. My mother died in December ten years ago and I remember how trying that...
As a therapist in private practice, I often hear clients dismay and confusion about what criteria to use in selecting a partner. Some folks have an attitude that no one can be trusted to meet their needs. Therefore they either get in relationships with those they lack chemistry with or else they avoid...
I have written about how high conflict divorce effects children and parents. This piece will focus on how high conflict divorce effects therapists. I am writing as a therapist whose primary treatment focus is the children. Therapists in these situations also have contact with the parents in an effort to lessen the conflict between...
The holiday session that begins around Thanksgiving and ends on New Year’s Day is supposed to be a time of joyful celebration and relaxation. However, many of us go through an entirely different experience during that month-and-a-half. There are those among us who simply dread the holidays for...
Forty seven years ago today was the day of my father’s funeral. I am out on my daily five mile run and I am listening to the iconic What Becomes of the Broken Hearted. I must have listened to this song over one thousand times. I have a powerful memory of sitting on my bed...
I was in the beginning of my five mile run and was listening to Lou Reed’s Heroin. This may be the most honest and stark description of drug use ever recorded. The speed of the song starts slowly then hits an intense crescendo with jangling guitars; this haunting pattern is repeated throughout the song....
Many of us are plagued with the desperate compulsion to be perfect. We operate in a world where we are taught that anything less than total flawlessness is utter failure. This includes school grades, job assignments, household chores, measuring up to what you assume peers or partner expectations are and meeting parent’s demands. This...
In my practice and personal life, I interact with many children. I am always curious about what social trends are actually happening as opposed to those being blown up in the media. One story that doesn’t seem to get much play is the fact that America’s children seem to be very isolated from their peers. ...