Intrusive thoughts are those thoughts that enter your mind and may cause anxiety and hyperfocus on those thoughts. These thoughts...
Blogs
Recovering from being told I was Stupid
We have finally had lots of sunshine the past few days crunched between days and nights of high winds, rain...
Facing Grief in Covid Times
My father died suddenly almost 56 ago. He was 56 when he died, and he would have been 112 years...
Creating Safety
Every day we see the headlines and read the newsfeed – the latest Corona surge is running amuck; the most...
The Benefits of Long-Term Therapy
There does not seem to be an agreed upon definition of long-term psychotherapy. I have been a psychotherapist in private...
Acceptance: Deciding to Put Traumatizing Memories to Rest
Acceptance is a loaded term in American society. Many suffer from what I call the closing credits syndrome. This happens...
Life Lessons Learned during the Pandemic
I am looking out the living room window. Nobody is on the street and the quiet is daunting. It is...
Promise of Better Days Ahead: Part 10 Seeking Safety
I wake up in the morning religiously at four thirty AM. I have no need to get up that early. ...
How White People Will Benefit from Fighting Racism
It was sometime during 1969 at my house in suburban New Jersey. I was eighteen years old and one...
DV(Domestic Violence) Poem
This poem is dedicated to all the women I have known in my personal and professional life who have been...
Dealing with Shelter in Place, Stay at Home Orders: COVID-19 Crisis
Many states now have issued Shelter in Place, Stay at Home Orders as ways of preventing the spread of the...
Discovering that you are Worthy
Feeling unworthy can adversely affect the quality of your life. Read on to examine this issue. Ask yourself these questions:...
2015
Grieving with All My Heart
Many memories are flooding my psyche. My father died 49 years ago today of a stroke. He was 56 years old, 8 years less than I am right now. I never really got to know him. How well do you get to know anyone at age 15? His death was the most tragic event of my life. His death was without dignity. The rabbi was a self-absorbed fool. His doctor knew he was ill, but
Parents Should Be Involved in Teen’s Life
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How and Why Should I Forgive such a Horrible Act? Part One
“My name is Bob Livingstone and I have been a psychotherapist in private practice for almost thirty years. This blog post has been written based on real experiences. The individuals depicted are fictional.” My name is Roger and I am forty two years old. I work as a general contractor in a small town in the Midwest. I had been married for eight years when tragedy struck my family. My wife, Rose was having
I Long to be the Best but Fear I am the Worst
“My name is Bob Livingstone and I have been a psychotherapist in private practice for almost thirty years. This blog post has been written based on real experiences. The individuals depicted are fictional.” My name is John V and I am forty-seven years old. I have been a school counselor for over thirty years. I am driven to take on the most difficult and heartbreaking cases. I am compelled to continually prove my
When Letting Go isn’t the Answer
My father died forty nine years ago this coming November. He died suddenly of a stroke when I was fifteen years old. I have vivid memories of that time in my life that immediately triggers feelings of rage. Some of you may feel that I need to let go of this intense anger because it is either harmful to me, unnecessary or that I need to forgive those that have committed abusive acts. I reject
Grief Never Ends: It Evolves
We all experience loss in our lives. Someone close to us eventually dies. Is there a way of preparing for the grief that’s to come? Probably not. We have been taught that there are clear and structured steps that occur during the grief process. However this supposed process doesn’t have data to support its validity. My clients ask me, “Am I in the bargaining stage or denial?” “How long will I be in the
Steps for Healing the Fear-Rage-Abandonment Cycle Part Four
You met Jeff and have followed his powerful emotional journey in Part One, Two and Three in this series. Hi this is Jeff and I want to share what I have learned about healing the fear-rage-despair-abandonment cycle. First of all you have to admit to yourself that you have a problem. This is the most important step. The anger that you blast at your wife is not caused by an infraction she has
Moving Away from Despair-Rage: Overcoming Abandonment- Part Three
You were introduced to Jeff’s facing his rage in Part One of this series and observed his introduction to feeling abandoned in Part Two. The issue of abandonment moves forward here. Hi this is Jeff here and I want to share the continual evolution of my emotional world. The fear of abandonment lives on and perhaps has become more intense as I grow older. I am not sure why this is happening, but
Moving Away from Despair-Rage: Facing the Fear of Abandonment Part Two
You met Jeff in Part One of this story as he was struggling to understand and control his rage. Hi, this is Jeff again and I have lots to share with you today. I was thinking that I have to deal with the flashing anger towards my wife, Julia in a very serious way. I have to treat this like addicts treat drug addiction and how alcoholics go to AA. This no-impulse control raised voice
Moving Away from Despair, Rage, Hopelessness and Flashing on those you Love
My name is Jeff and I am thirty-seven years old. I work as a high-school counselor in an economically depressed area. I have been married to Julia for almost ten years and we have no children yet. My job can be rewarding during those rare moments when I can actually help students find their voices. It is so hard to make an impact when so many needs of the children are not being addressed
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