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How to Deal with Intrusive Thoughts 

Intrusive thoughts are those thoughts that enter your mind and may cause anxiety and hyperfocus on those thoughts.  These thoughts...

Facing Grief in Covid Times

Facing Grief in Covid Times

My father died suddenly almost 56 ago. He was 56 when he died, and he would have been 112 years...

Creating Safety

Creating Safety

Every day we see the headlines and read the newsfeed – the latest Corona surge is running amuck; the most...

The Benefits of Long-Term Therapy

The Benefits of Long-Term Therapy

There does not seem to be an agreed upon definition of long-term psychotherapy. I have been a psychotherapist in private...

DV(Domestic Violence) Poem

DV(Domestic Violence) Poem

This poem is dedicated to all the women I have known in my personal and professional life who have been...

Discovering that you are Worthy

Discovering that you are Worthy

Feeling unworthy can adversely affect the quality of your life.  Read on to examine this issue. Ask yourself these questions:...

2016

Returning to the World of Innocence Fifty Years after My Dad’s Death

My father died fifty years ago this month.  I was fifteen years old when he died abruptly from a stroke.  The summer before he died I was optimistic about my upcoming sophomore year of high school.   There was a parade on Labor Day down Raritan Avenue in Highland Park, New Jersey.  Later that afternoon, there were festivities in the park where I served food and ran races.  My friends and I discovered the cold refreshing

Fifty Years after his Death: Opening my Heart to Dad’s Love

Dedicated to my Loving Sister Marion Livingstone   For almost fifty years I believed that my father who died on November 9, 1966 didn’t love or approve of me.  I thought at best he was indifferent towards my presence, but now I’m ready to face the reality that my view point was highly distorted.   My sister Marion, who is two years younger than me (I am 65 and she is 63), read my previous

Healing The Approval that Never Came

My father died suddenly of a stroke almost fifty years ago.   I was fifteen and he was fifty-six.  I am now sixty-five years old and his death shattered my teenage life.  I have been trying to understand how his death affected me ever since.   I have written a large body of work about my dad’s life and death.  I am a therapist in private practice and have gone to therapy myself to unravel this mystery. 

Running is My Medicine

I arise after a fitful night of waking up several times and gazing at the digital clock striking 3:47am.  I am exhausted, depressed, anxious and emotionally swimming in a murky swamp.  The swamp engulfs me as feelings of hopelessness stab me in the heart. My wife kisses me goodbye and I miss her as soon as the door closes. I don’t tell her how I feel because I don’t want to wreck her day.  I

Rescue Me: The Summer of 1966- before my Father’s Death

My father died almost fifty years ago.  I was fifteen when he came home day from work at the factory in the middle of the day in the summer of 1966.  That was highly unusual.    He walked through the door with his hair disheveled and a preoccupied look in his eyes.  My mother told me later that my father had been fired from his job because he forgot to tell his boss that he was

Moving Away from High Stress

Many adults are finding themselves questioning if they want to continue the lifestyle that they have worked so hard to attain.  Men and women have pushed themselves to obtain advanced college degrees from prestigious colleges.  They have bought multi-million dollar homes in the suburbs.  They have two teenage children who are not flawless, but are basically good kids. They get along fine with their partners. However, there is a feeling in the background that something

How Important is it for Children to go to the Best College?

Many of the mothers I speak with tell me they are concerned about pressuring their children to do more homework in order to get the best grades so they can get into the best colleges.  This causes a lot of stress in the household.  Moms tell me that they are worried about their children’s future in very intense ways.  I was talking to Linda recently.  She has two teenagers. Her daughter is seventeen and a

What to do when National/International Tragedy Strike

“Let fury have the hour, anger can be power D’you know that you can use it?” The Clampdown by Mick Jones and Joe Strummer of The Clash Tragedy can hit us on a national/international level like when forty-nine patrons of an Orlando gay night club were gunned down June 12, 2016.  The news reports of these catastrophes are immediate and spread like wildfire.  They are posted repeatedly on social media and looped endlessly on cable

Dealing with an Alcoholic Friend

I am a psychotherapist who has been in private practice nearly thirty years.  I have worked with many clients who have alcoholic friends.  This following is a composite of their stories.   I have a friend, Jimmy who is an alcoholic.   He is in his mid-thirties and seems to be self-destructing before my eyes.   He exhibits the following behavior: Increased drinking. Blaming others for his misfortunes and never taking ownership of his problems. Increased poor

Transforming the Shame that comes from Emotional Abuse

I learned to recognize how I react when emotionally abused.  The emotional abuse is delivered verbally and my reaction has been to freeze and no longer be present in the room.   My father was impatient with me and never seemed to take the time to explain a chess move or a tennis stroke to me without scowling.  It seemed like I was never good or smart enough.  He tended to spend more time playing

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