Intrusive thoughts are those thoughts that enter your mind and may cause anxiety and hyperfocus on those thoughts. These thoughts...
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Recovering from being told I was Stupid
We have finally had lots of sunshine the past few days crunched between days and nights of high winds, rain...
Facing Grief in Covid Times
My father died suddenly almost 56 ago. He was 56 when he died, and he would have been 112 years...
Creating Safety
Every day we see the headlines and read the newsfeed – the latest Corona surge is running amuck; the most...
The Benefits of Long-Term Therapy
There does not seem to be an agreed upon definition of long-term psychotherapy. I have been a psychotherapist in private...
Acceptance: Deciding to Put Traumatizing Memories to Rest
Acceptance is a loaded term in American society. Many suffer from what I call the closing credits syndrome. This happens...
Life Lessons Learned during the Pandemic
I am looking out the living room window. Nobody is on the street and the quiet is daunting. It is...
Promise of Better Days Ahead: Part 10 Seeking Safety
I wake up in the morning religiously at four thirty AM. I have no need to get up that early. ...
How White People Will Benefit from Fighting Racism
It was sometime during 1969 at my house in suburban New Jersey. I was eighteen years old and one...
DV(Domestic Violence) Poem
This poem is dedicated to all the women I have known in my personal and professional life who have been...
Dealing with Shelter in Place, Stay at Home Orders: COVID-19 Crisis
Many states now have issued Shelter in Place, Stay at Home Orders as ways of preventing the spread of the...
Discovering that you are Worthy
Feeling unworthy can adversely affect the quality of your life. Read on to examine this issue. Ask yourself these questions:...
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Connecting with your children why it’s important
What does Connecting mean? Connecting means interacting on a level that is pleasing for both parties. It leads to understanding and clarity through discussion. It requires a willingness to step inside the world of your child; another description of this action is called empathy. Sometimes conflictual topics are discussed when you are connecting. Hopefully resolution can be found through a give and take of ideas. Why do parents have difficulty connecting with their kids?
The Benefits of Confronting Friends, Foes, Families or Bosses
What’s the definition of the word confront? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary confront means to face someone especially in challenge. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, confront means to deal with a difficult problem, person or situation. I believe it also means standing up for yourself. Many avoid confrontations. They may have been raised in homes where there was lots of fighting and nothing ever got resolved. They learned that engaging in conflict/confrontation leads only to
How to Recognize and Face Emotional Triggers
Upside down From Mount Fuji with blue sky from Lake Ashi Hakone Japan 02/09/2018 Emotional triggers are moments when you suddenly feelanxious, overwhelmed, confused, and terrified. You often don’t recognize these experiences as being triggers. You aren’t sure what they are about or wherethey originate. Triggers are created out of trauma. The following are examples of trauma: Being physically and or sexually assaulted, being emotionally abused, a parent dying, a break up with a partner,
Judged and Sentenced to Shame: Guilty of Bad Handwriting
I’m continuing to uncover painful events in my life. I know that this process will be exhausting, wounding and an eventual powerful springboard. These truths will warm my body mind and soul. I will be a stronger and better man. I have always had poor penmanship as they called it in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s. I remember grade school teachers scowling at me when ever they had to read what I scrawled down
Going Deep with The Demons
Please read this blog before you read https://www.boblivingstone.com/how-americas-institutions-failed-my-family-and-what-i-did-about-it/ what is below. Thanks so much I realize that most people don’t look for emotional pain. I am not afraid to dig deep inside in an effort to seek understanding, clarity, peace and joy. I believe facing and working through the pain opens the door to healing, safety and having a voice in this world. My other motivation is to share what I have learned with my
How America’s Institutions Failed my Family and What I did about it
My father died suddenly on Nov. 9, 1966 when I was fifteen years old. He had a stroke, went to the ICU and died two days later. When I think about this awful/pivotal time, I have a vast array of angry and sad feelings. How institutions failed my family: The hospital would not allow my sister and I to visit my father while he was in the Intensive Care Unit. They wouldn’t let my mother
Personal Boundaries: What are they and Why are they Important?
A boundary is a line between you and others. When that line is well defined, healthy relationships are possible. When that line has broken parts to it or is blurry, relationships are not functional. They are filled with drama, stress, unrealistic expectations and emotional and financial over-giving. Example of well-defined boundaries: In a primary relationship, household chores are divided, and financial goals are adhered to. If one partner has a problem with any of this,
Rediscovering my Father’s Spirit
My name is Bob Livingstone and I am a licensed clinical social worker based in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1987. I work with children, teens and adults. One of my specialties is grief counseling. I became interested in this subject because my father died suddenly when I was fifteen years old. I have written books and many blogs with grief and loss being the centerpiece. I believe grief never ends, it evolves. We
What I Lost and Found: Fifty-Two Years after My Father’s Death
Hi. My name is Bob Livingstone and I am sixty-seven years old. I am a psychotherapist working with children, teenagers and adults. I have been in private practice for over thirty years in the San Francisco Bay Area. Some of the areas I like to focus on are grief and loss, trauma/abuse, and divorce. My father died suddenly almost fifty-two years ago when I was fifteen. His death led to my interest in dealing with
When your Caring Turns into an Addiction/Co-Dependency
How can you tell if your caring for a friend, lover, or family member has turned into an addiction also known as co-dependency? Being co-dependent is a means of survival in the world. This doesn’t brand you as a bad person. You’re struggling to find a new path. I hope that the following will help you begin to make a change. According to Mental Health America, “Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed
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