Intrusive thoughts are those thoughts that enter your mind and may cause anxiety and hyperfocus on those thoughts. These thoughts...
Blogs
Recovering from being told I was Stupid
We have finally had lots of sunshine the past few days crunched between days and nights of high winds, rain...
Facing Grief in Covid Times
My father died suddenly almost 56 ago. He was 56 when he died, and he would have been 112 years...
Creating Safety
Every day we see the headlines and read the newsfeed – the latest Corona surge is running amuck; the most...
The Benefits of Long-Term Therapy
There does not seem to be an agreed upon definition of long-term psychotherapy. I have been a psychotherapist in private...
Acceptance: Deciding to Put Traumatizing Memories to Rest
Acceptance is a loaded term in American society. Many suffer from what I call the closing credits syndrome. This happens...
Life Lessons Learned during the Pandemic
I am looking out the living room window. Nobody is on the street and the quiet is daunting. It is...
Promise of Better Days Ahead: Part 10 Seeking Safety
I wake up in the morning religiously at four thirty AM. I have no need to get up that early. ...
How White People Will Benefit from Fighting Racism
It was sometime during 1969 at my house in suburban New Jersey. I was eighteen years old and one...
DV(Domestic Violence) Poem
This poem is dedicated to all the women I have known in my personal and professional life who have been...
Dealing with Shelter in Place, Stay at Home Orders: COVID-19 Crisis
Many states now have issued Shelter in Place, Stay at Home Orders as ways of preventing the spread of the...
Discovering that you are Worthy
Feeling unworthy can adversely affect the quality of your life. Read on to examine this issue. Ask yourself these questions:...
2014 Alright I’m finally saying it: Many things were much better when I was a Kid
I never really thought I would say this out loud, but I often think it and now the words can no longer be held back. Life in American has really reached a tipping point where many of us live constricted, unfulfilled lives.(IMO) When I compare my childhood to what the modern day kid experiences, I want to scream and shout. When I think about how things have changed for all of us, I am overwhelmed.Finding Compassion for the Helicopter Mom
There are dads and moms who hover over children in dysfunctional ways. Today I will be focusing on helicopter moms. The characteristics of a helicopter mom are: choosing activities and friends for their children; making schedules for their kids without child input; not allowing their children to do anything on their own; not allowing children to walk anywhere without adult presence; becoming very anxious when their children are the least bit distraught or putA Man Atones for his Violence: A Conversation we would Love to Hear
Frank, age fifty decides to have an honest conversation with his eighteen year old daughter Eileen. He has had minimal contact with her for about five years, but really wants to have a relationship with her He feels that now she is an adult, he can share a barebones, raw account about his long time history of violence. Frank: “Eileen, I want to share stuff with you today; a part of me that is ugly,Fourteen Myths about the Grief Process
Myth # 1: You will feel better if you push the pain of the loss away. It is not good to “dwell” on the death. Reality: Pushing the pain down or away will only prolong your agony and perhaps cause physical illness. Allowing yourself to feel the angst, all the thoughts, feelings and memories about your loss, will help you work through the tragedy. Myth # 2: Words like, “he is in a better placeWe need a New Treatment Program for Men who commit Domestic Violence
News about domestic violence fills our airwaves, television screens and internet sites. Several players from the National Football League have been charged with battering their partners. Let’s explore what we as a society can do to prevent domestic violence. First of all if a women is injured or killed by a man, it is not her fault that this happened. She does not play a “role” in instigating the violence. There is no excuse forThe Trauma of my Father’s Funeral-Looking Back Forty-Eight Years Ago
This coming November 12 will mark the forty-eight anniversary of my father’s death. My sister Marion and I decided to hold a family memorial in August while we are vacationing at Star Lake, Wisconsin. Family and close friends (who are more like family) will attend. I am thinking about what I want to say about this major event of my life and these words come out: My father died of a stroke on aHow Social Media and Texting actually help the Grief Process
I have been one of the fiercest critics of America’s fixation with electronic devices. In an age where adults and children of all walks of life have their heads buried in the latest phone or tablet; face to face communication is at an all time low. Matter of fact, many children are very uncomfortable with direct communication, preferring to text or Facebook their friends. There are many pitfalls with this lifestyle which I outline here.Redemption for a Man who Hurt his Lover with Words Part Three
Please read Part One and Part Two first before reading this episode. At the end of Part Two, Ron pledges to Melinda that he will change his verbally abusive behavior and that he really doesn’t want to lose her. Ron knows he needs to have a constant awareness that he can become verbally abusive at any moment. This awareness needs to be present all his waking hours; probably when he is asleep too. HeRedemption for a Man who Hurt his Lover with Words Part Two
Please read Part One of this story before reading this. At the end of Part One, Ron asked Melinda to share with him how he hurts her with his words and how she would like him to change. Melinda states, “Ron you have said cruel things to me over the years. Whenever you feel I am not moving the mouse cursor fast enough, you become unglued. You try to force me to speed up withRedemption for a Man who Hurt his Lover with Words
Ron was driving home from work and the traffic was an absolute mess. He was tired from dealing with his boss who was impossible to please and very difficult to get along with. He was sick of having to hold back from telling him how much he hated his guts. Cars on the freeway were either going too fast or too slow. The vehicle behind him had its bright lights on blinding him in his
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