Intrusive thoughts are those thoughts that enter your mind and may cause anxiety and hyperfocus on those thoughts. These thoughts...
Blogs
Recovering from being told I was Stupid
We have finally had lots of sunshine the past few days crunched between days and nights of high winds, rain...
Facing Grief in Covid Times
My father died suddenly almost 56 ago. He was 56 when he died, and he would have been 112 years...
Creating Safety
Every day we see the headlines and read the newsfeed – the latest Corona surge is running amuck; the most...
The Benefits of Long-Term Therapy
There does not seem to be an agreed upon definition of long-term psychotherapy. I have been a psychotherapist in private...
Acceptance: Deciding to Put Traumatizing Memories to Rest
Acceptance is a loaded term in American society. Many suffer from what I call the closing credits syndrome. This happens...
Life Lessons Learned during the Pandemic
I am looking out the living room window. Nobody is on the street and the quiet is daunting. It is...
Promise of Better Days Ahead: Part 10 Seeking Safety
I wake up in the morning religiously at four thirty AM. I have no need to get up that early. ...
How White People Will Benefit from Fighting Racism
It was sometime during 1969 at my house in suburban New Jersey. I was eighteen years old and one...
DV(Domestic Violence) Poem
This poem is dedicated to all the women I have known in my personal and professional life who have been...
Dealing with Shelter in Place, Stay at Home Orders: COVID-19 Crisis
Many states now have issued Shelter in Place, Stay at Home Orders as ways of preventing the spread of the...
Discovering that you are Worthy
Feeling unworthy can adversely affect the quality of your life. Read on to examine this issue. Ask yourself these questions:...
2015
When is it Time to Put Yourself First Part Two
You met Jerry and Loraine in the first part of this story. Part one ended with Jerry leaving Loraine in the coffee shop. He told her that he could not continue a friendship with her while she was drinking and doing drugs. He felt he could not expend any more energy on his friend who seemed intent on destroying herself. She displayed no evidence that she was ready to enter a sobriety program. Loraine cursed
When is it Time to Put Yourself First?
Hi, my name is Jerry and I am a thirty eight year old man who is divorced. I have two elementary school children. I have been friends with Loraine who is thirty-five for about five years. She is also divorced and has a couple of kids as well. I actually met her in a group for newly separated parents and we became close immediately. We have never been lovers, just good buddies and we both
Survivor Guilt: Am I supposed to still be here?
I was running my usual five miles while listening to Bruce Springsteen live. I was trying to figure out why I was feeling despondent and highly agitated. Just observing how selfish people are pushed me over the edge. A car almost ran me over in the cross walk and there was no apology, just me throwing up the middle digit. Why is everyone in such a hurry? Why such a rush to nowhere? I
Teenage Angst and Suicide: Don’t Blame Parents
There have been nine teenage suicides from Gunn high school in Palo Alto, California since 2009. Teenage suicide happens nationwide. Each year two million adolescents attempt suicide and two thousand are successful in ending their lives. We all have been searching for answers to why these kids killed themselves, and we are seeking ways to prevent teen suicides. Parents have been blamed for being too demanding of their kids. Blame is not helpful for finding
Let the Tears Flow: Crying is the Ultimate Healer
This article was originally published in MentalHelp.net https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/let-the-tears-flow-crying-is-the-ultimate-healer/ Long ago I came to believe that grieving is impossible unless you can experience your own pain and if you can’t feel your own pain, it is almost impossible to feel anyone else’s. You can walk through life in a state of numbness missing the excitement and the sadness that life has to offer. You can create walls designed to keep you from being hurt from being
How to Forgive your Ex-Partner in order to transform a High-Conflict Relationship
This was originally published in MentalHelp.net https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/how-to-forgive-your-ex-partner-in-order-to-transform-a-high-conflict-relationship/ My last blog, titled High-Conflict Divorce: Why Forgiveness is Essential, discussed the horrible effects that children experience while immersed in the war with your ex. It also focused on why forgiving each other is essential for your child’s healing. It is clear that many high conflict divorce parents have no idea how to begin a forgiveness process even if they desired to do so. Here are some
High Conflict Divorce: Why Forgiveness is Essential
This was originally published in MentalHelp.net https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/high-conflict-divorce-why-forgiveness-is-essential/ A high conflict divorce is a war between two separated or divorced parents. This intense and long-term battle of words consists of emotionally combustable weapons being fired at each other with their children becoming collateral damage. The children may become wounded to the point where it becomes impossible for them to recover. Some of the effects of high conflict divorce on children are: They learn
I’m Sixty-Four Years Old Today: The Pain and the Glory
I think I am wide awake, but am actually dreaming. I am with my father at the Donaldson Park skating rink. It is the middle of winter in Highland Park, New Jersey. The year is 1964. My dad is gracefully gliding across the ice and he is being observed in awe by the one hundred or so kids and adults in attendance. It is a cold and bright outside; one of the rare New Jersey
Marshall’s Parents Terrible Divorce Part Two-Father’s Confusion
We met Marshall and learned about his parent’s divorce here. Marshall’s father lives in southern California which is far away from his son’s San Francisco home. In the previous chapter, we learned that Marshall’s dad had not seen his son for quite some time and this was having a devastating effect. Marshall wondered if his dad really loved him. Marshall’s father owns a construction company and he ponders his relationship with his son. Late at
Children and Screen Time: An Evolving Crisis
I have been a therapist in private practice for almost twenty eight years. As they say, things sure have changed. The parental complaint of “I can’t get my child to clean his room” has been replaced with “I can’t get my child off the computer, smart phone, video game, YouTube, texting and/or social media.” It seems that we are in collective denial about the addictive quality of modern day electronics and the reality that
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