The words come through the self-help airwaves and from the world of social media: You must learn to love yourself to feel good about who you are. You hear these words and immediately feel like a failure. You don’t believe that you love yourself. You imagine that those who truly love themselves smile all the...
I was watching the Marvel TV show Luke Cage scenes where Luke’s dad put his arms around him and apologized for not being there when he was a child. I started tearing up when I realized I never had this moment with my dad. The pain was felt deep inside with the understanding that I...
My name is Bob Livingstone and I have been a psychotherapist in private practice for thirty years. I work with children, teens and adults in The San Francisco Bay Area. I continue to work on my own struggles, roadblocks, insights and dreams. Today anger is raising its unruly head. I am on a five mile...
You have been in a close relationship with a lover or friend for a long time. Extreme effort is put forth trying to improve communication and mutual understanding. Sometimes he seems to get it, if only for a moment. Guilt overwhelms and confuses you. You try so hard to connect with his sense of decency....
What does it mean to honor your traumas, losses and heartbreaks? Honoring is acknowledging the anguish you have experienced. Honoring marks the horror, sadness and anger when the event first happened. It celebrates your recovery process. It is a time for telling your story about the trauma and to discuss how you overcame the obstacles....
Anxiety is experienced by forty million American adults. It can be overwhelming and effect mood, confidence, relationships, appetite, and sleep. It may be part of your being that exists in the background of your life. It steps forward and takes over when triggered by an external event such as being disrespected, ignored or rejected. Anxiety...
The following is a composite case study of several clients. Joy is thirty-nine years old and is single. She is divorced and has a female child, age seventeen. She has been in a relationship with John for the past two years. She is a self-employed accountant and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. She...
The message that is shouted out to us from a very young age is that “you need to get over it”. This directive means that you aren’t to dwell on any loss more than a couple of days. You are supposed to move on with your life (whatever that means) and not “dwell” on sad...
You may find this blog to pertain to you or others in your life. You may find the beginning to be harsh and judgmental, but please stick with it because it does offer healthy solutions. I have compassion for all those who identify as victims and want to be a catalyst for positive change. You...
Internalized self-hatred is the owning and acting out of a stereotype that has been created about you. You may or may not be aware of this phenomenon. Internalized self-hatred can be experienced by People of Color, The LBGQT Community, Jews, Muslims, Women, The Disabled other oppressed and vilified people. Examples of self-hatred: A black man...
