When do you begin to ponder your own mortality? Is this a right of passage that happens to everyone eventually? Or do we only face the possibility of our own deaths when some tragic event takes place? The tragedy may be someone close to us dying or being diagnosed with a terminal disease. Does society teach us how to deal with our mortality in a dignified and fearless manner?

Some of us find solace in the teachings in our houses of worship, government and schools. Many others have not found these institutions to be a source of anxiety reduction and we don’t believe that they can be of any assistance in a spiritual crisis.

We all have to deal with losses in our personal lives. What does happen to us when tragedy strikes? Do we have faith that we will get through this crisis and eventually heal?

My mother died six years ago and my father has been dead for over forty-five years. These losses have been painful, overwhelming, and disruptive. I am sure that I share these experiences with many of you.

When those close to you die, it leads you to facing your own mortality. You wonder about the possibility of an afterlife and you question the worthiness of your existence. The questions that come up are: What will happen to me after I die? What is the purpose of my life? Am I spending time in a meaningful way or am I just going through the motions? Do I have a dream? Have I ever experienced living that dream? Does fear ever stop me from taking risks that I know deep down inside I should attempt? What is the quality of my personal relationships? Are they superficial or deep? What do I believe in? Do I have faith that my soul will be cared for after I die?

Are you going through an existential and maybe a midlife crisis? Is it time to continue your life as is or is it time to make changes? What changes are you considering making?

Life Changes to consider while pondering your mortality:

1. Be clear if you believe in a God, Goddess, heaven, hell or other form of afterlife. You may be an agnostic or atheist. What matters is that you are at peace with your belief system and not endlessly spinning and worrying.
2. If you are unsure of what you believe in, treat your search as a divine sense of wonder, not a desperate dive that incorporates panic and disconnection.
3. Discover a faith that you can count on during times of crisis or distress. It is important to find a safe haven inside that holds your voice of wisdom. This voice of wisdom will heal you from tragedy and you will eventually become wiser. You will then be able to pass your wisdom on to others.
4. Read about spirituality, religion, existential crisis, and death and dying.
5. Visit houses of worship to determine what faith works best for you.
6. Talk to your friends, lovers, family and other support people about the thoughts and feelings regarding mortality.
7. Allow yourself to explore your dreams. They may include a new career that is totally different from anything you’ve previously done. You may want to write a book, paint, or become a photographer.
8. Decide to end relationships with anyone that is abusive or neglectful to you.
9. Change your way of thinking and feeling about your own mortality by facing the fear in a different way. Fear will inevitably raise its head when focusing on your own demise. Instead of letting the anxiety take over, choose to focus on your dreams and your accomplishments.
10. Develop a regular exercise program where you can physically work out and think about your mortality in a calm and loving way.