It was July 30, 1972.  Gail and I were in Salina, Kansas in Sunset Park in the middle of summer in the middle of the country in the beginning of our adult lives waiting to get married.  I had a rented Tuxedo with a cummerbund. Gail was dressed in all white.  The crowd was Black and White.  The ceremony was part Jewish, part Lutheran and part otherworldly.

It was at least 90 degrees at the beginning of the wedding.  47 years ago-I was 21 and Gail, 22.  She was Black and I was White.  It was only five years earlier that the Supreme Court made a decision that allowed people of different races to marry in the good old USA.  We give praise to Mildred and Richard Loving every day.

My mother, Barbara; Gail’s mother, Lavya, Gail’s sister, Teresa, Gail’s brother, Othello and our niece, Niki were still alive then.  We feel a deep sense of loss for all our deceased loved ones and are thankful they graced our lives.

I was twenty-one, what did I know about life and love at this point in my life?  I thought I knew everything even though I was filled with uncertainty.  Now I realize I don’t know much about anything and seeking answers is a main function of living.

I felt like I was part of a movie while I walked up the aisle next to Gail not having any idea what kind of heartaches, crises, unexpected obstacles or achievements would be included in our journey.

I remember my mother-in-law, Lavya telling me to take off the top hat that I thought would be cool to wear.  She said, “Take off that damn clown hat” and I did.

The wedding itself is a blur in my memory bank now.  Maybe because it was so long ago, and my memory is getting hazy.  Maybe I wasn’t really that present.  The ceremony seemed like a dream then. It feels so real now.

Forty-seven year later, what did I learn?  Don’t ever take anyone for granted because they could be gone in the wink of an eye.  Don’t wait until tomorrow to say that you love them.  Do it now.

The adage that your marital partner is your best friend is true in my case.  We have grown up together and got married when Nixon was president.  Who could have imagined what we now have for a president?  We went through some very difficult times together, but we always believed in each other.  We love each other unconditionally. That love warms my heart during good times and struggles.

We have many things in common such as music, politics, and sense of humor.  I am blessed to be a part of her school community (MeadowsLivingstone School, Google it).   We both go out of our way to help people and it is important for both of us to show up for others.

I know Gail is an extremely intelligent person who is patient and loving.  I can depend on her when I feel lost and overwhelmed.

We are united in the fight against oppression.  We stand up against racism, sexism, homophobia, anti-Semitism and imprisoning children in cages.

We drum together and we both are writers.  We support each other’s work.  We are still strongly attracted to each other physically.

Songs we listened to in 1972: The First Time I ever saw your Face by Robert Flack,   Superwoman by Stevie Wonder, Brandy by The Looking Glass, Take a Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed, Let’s Stay Together by Al Green, I’ll Take you There by The Staples Singers and Jackie Wilson Said by Van Morrison.

Song we listen to now(could be any year after 1972):  I want to Know what Love is by Leela James, I got Love for you by Michael Franti, Hummingbird by Leon Russell, Fool for you by Alice Smith, Badlands by Bruce Springsteen,  Blue Sky by the Allman Brothers, I may not be your Kind by Garland Jeffreys, Rise Up by Andra Day, Don’t Fall apart on me Tonight by Bettye LaVette.

Music is a huge part of our lives.  It is the soundtrack that connects our memories and experiences together.  I remember dancing together with Gail at The Grace Jones Performance in Oakland.  One of the best memories ever and more dancing to come.,,,