What’s the definition of the word confront? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary confront means to face someone especially in challenge. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, confront means to deal with a difficult problem, person or situation. I believe it also means standing up for yourself.

Many avoid confrontations. They may have been raised in homes where there was lots of fighting and nothing ever got resolved. They learned that engaging in conflict/confrontation leads only to more arguing.

There are families who are so conflict avoidant that they seldom or never displayed any voices of descension, therefore confronting others seems terrifying because of the lack of confronting experience.

They have learned through childhood experiences that confronting rarely has any positive ending, then there is no point to voice their hurt feelings.

They have had extraordinary trauma in their lives and survival is the ongoing strongest drive carrying them forward. It is fearful for them to confront others because they get triggered that they will be physically and emotionally abused. Moving on and not entering a dialog when confrontation may be beneficial is not on their radar.

There are benefits to confronting others. They are: Feeling empowered and confident by saying what you really feel; Expressing hurt feelings may lead to greater understanding; Sharing your concerns may lead to a stronger relationship and connection; Finding a clear and unapologetic means of ending a dysfunctional relationship and feeling a sense of release and relief instead of self-destructing stuffing of emotions. Confronting a foe may stop him/her from bullying you in the future. Standing up to your boss may result in him/her respecting your feelings and treating you better.

There are risks to confronting others. If you confront your boss, you may be fired. If you confront a close friend, she may not take it well and decide to end the relationship. If you are worried about the person you are confronting becoming physical, you may not want to pursue this. You may then consider not having a relationship with him/her any longer.

I believe taking the risk in many cases will be worth it. If you have little to no experience with confrontation, you will have no idea how you will feel until after the confrontation is over. Keep this in mind when you think about standing up to someone.

It is important to have clear expectations from potential confrontations with others. Do you want your friend to apologize for hurting your feelings? Do you want to feel that you let your co-worker know about how he is treating you? Is the main goal to express your feelings and it doesn’t matter what his response is? If so, that is a legitimate reason to confront someone. Is the purpose of your confrontation to ensure that he/ she treats you better? Do you want to confront a friend who has betrayed your trust for him/ her to admit that she did so? Confronting without having a clear reason for doing so will end up being confusing, impulsive and unsatisfying.

Confrontation can be healing, liberating and empowering. Please share your questions and experiences on the comments section below or in the posting section on my FaceBook Page    https://www.facebook.com/HealingEmotionalPain/     Thanks