Emotional triggers are moments when you suddenly feelanxious, overwhelmed, confused, and terrified. You often don’t recognize these experiences as being triggers. You aren’t sure what they are about or wherethey originate.
Triggers are created out of trauma. The following are examples of trauma: Being physically and or sexually assaulted, being emotionally abused, a parent dying, a break up with a partner, loss of a job/loss of income, poverty, being in a war and surviving a natural disaster, racisim, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, anti-Semitism or being hated because you are the “other.”
One of my triggers happens when someone is explaining something to me and suddenly, I realize I don’t understand what he is saying. Instead of calmly asking him specific questions about my lack of comprehension, I become flooded with the adrenaline of pure fear. The part of the brain that senses danger, the amygdala becomes activated and I am in pure panic mode.
During childhood, my intelligence was often questioned. This alone caused me to become triggered. I also had to figure out many things on my own as a teenager. I couldn’t afford not to process experiences on my own. My survival was at stake. My father had recently died, and my mom was in her grieving process. She really couldn’t be there for me.
The triggering experience is the sense that a bomb is about to be detonated and you must do all in your power to protect yourself. You are not mentally present, and the fight or flight response is in full effect.
You are triggered by an experience that reminds you of the original trauma. You most likely are not in real danger like you were during the original trauma. The overwhelming feeling of danger that is set off by the activation of your amygdala shreds any sense of personal safety at that moment.
It is not unusual to have inappropriate responses to triggers. You may become verbally abusive to people you love. You may overreact to your boss’s comments about your performance and end up losing your job.
Hatred of those who are the “other” occurs in subtle ways many times daily. You don’t want triggers to cause reactions that you later regret. Finding ways to deal effectively with microaggressions is an ongoing and hurtful struggle.
However, if you are in real danger, the fight or flight response may save your life. If a racist says he wants to kill you because you are not white, taking steps to protect yourself will be ignited by the amygdala’s purpose.
Some triggers may be: Getting the silent treatment from a significant person in your life, Fear of being late to appointments, being criticized, fear of not measuring up, certain facial expression of others, body sensations, body language of your boss, institutional disappointments, feeling like you are being lied to, subtle and overt acts of racisim, homophobia, sexism, transphobia, anti-Semitism and other forms of hatred because you are the “other” and fear of abandonment.
One personal example of this phenomena: If I notice a father-son interaction is in disarray, I get triggered. The father may be ignoring the son, the son maybe disrespectful to the dad or the father may belittle the son. This reminds me of my father’s death. I think, “How can you take this relationship for granted, don’t you know it can end with the blink of an eye?” “Why can’t they be nice to each other, don’t they know this can all end immediately and without notice.?” I become angry, agitated and alone with the feeling that no one understands what I’m going through.
Another personal example: About ten years ago, the electrical system in my heart died which resulted in the installation of a heart pacemaker (a miracle of science!). After that time, any weird body sensation would trigger me, and my amygdala would go into full alert. Adrenaline rushed through my body and I felt in danger-I was afraid I was going to die.
I have learned to deal with this effectively. When I notice a weird sensation in my body, instead of becoming afraid which is the alert signal for the amygdala to come on board, I take a deep breath and let the weird feeling pass through my body while thinking that this sensation is probably nothing to worry about. This interjection of thought and direct action prevents the fight or flight response to flare up.
The first step is to be aware of your triggers and to notice them when they are occurring. Tell yourself that you are triggered, but you are safe now. Have an internal safe space to go to; such as a sunset or riding in a 1965 red Mustang Convertible with the top down with your hair flowing in the breeze and a huge smile on your face (this is my safe space!) Take deep breaths and change your environment. Go outside. Notice your body and the calmness that has entered.
Dealing with triggers by not activating the fight or flight response takes dedicated work. It is not an easy or quick process because learning to be aware of the triggers is difficult and painful. The awareness comes slowly because you initially believe that you are somehow causing the intense flow of the adrenaline that immediately follows the amygdala’s sense of impending doom. The amygdala does not work logically. It is the part of your brain that when sensing danger, gives signals that you need to take action to protect yourself. You have no control over this part of your brain once it gets into gear.
The time between being triggered and the amygdala being activated is less than a few seconds. Learning how to hit the pause button between these actions is also difficult and stressful, but through trail and error, you can accomplish this.
Individual therapy can be very helpful. I recommend Sandtray Therapy (link to my book below), EMDR(Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing ) created by Francine Shapiro and Somatic Experiencing created by Paul Levine.
Research has shown that exercise can alter brain chemistry. Worry and Despair can be transformed into calmness and clarity.
Listening to music can be healing and distract you from being immersed in the triggering moment.
I hope this helps. If you have questions or comments, please share them on my blog https://www.facebook.com/HealingEmotionalPain/or in the comments section below. Thanks!