Dear Gail,

We have been married over forty-two years and the time has flown by.  We are heading towards Medicare age and we are still going strong.  I think one of the reasons our marriage has lasted so long is because we have so many things in common.  We both love to play and watch sports.  We are like minded politically.  We are both independent thinkers who don’t want to be messed with.  We both fight against injustice and we both care about what happens to children.

You have owned your own Afro-Centric School for elementary age kids for over thirty five years.  I have been a psychotherapist in private practice since 1987 and many of my clients are children and teenagers.  It seems that there are times when the plight of children becomes the central focus of our lives.  If we are in direct contact with a child who is neglected, abused, ignored, marginalized, misunderstood by those who are supposed to be caring for them, we are ignited to take action.

This action may be alerting the authorities, confronting the adults who are supposed to take care of them or comforting the child victims.  This can take a toll on us.  At times it feels like we are the only people on the planet who care about these kids who are falling off the grid.  Intellectually, I know that this isn’t true, but when you are down in the trenches, you lose your perspective and sometimes you can lose your health.

The quest to ensure the safety of kids becomes an all-encompassing endeavor.  All other thoughts and needs are put on a back burner.  The entire focus is on what we can do to help.  We struggle and then realize that that there are many times when there is little or nothing we can do to stop the oncoming train wreck that we so accurately forecast.  We are slow to give up the fight even when there are no wind mills left to tilt at.

Sometimes it amounts to that people don’t do what we would like them to do.  We would like parents to be present for their kids and set limits for them.  We would like children to play outside with other kids and their parents.  We would like parents to set limits on electronic use.  We would like children to watch something other than Disney or other mainstream dreck.  We would like parents to be aware of racism, classism and sexism in the world.  We would like to wipe out internalized hatred as well.

We want kids to grow up to become independent adults and fiercely self-confident.  We are immediately triggered when a child we care about seems to be suffering.  When we witness a kid who has all the potential in the world to be whatever she desires have that potential thwarted; we become angry, disillusioned and broken hearted.

We comfort each other through this struggle and in spite of all our bad experiences, we have faith that we will prevail and the children will one day be free.

I remember the day you stood up to police officers from two different police departments.  They wanted to take a five year old girl away from your school and place her in a children’s shelter.  You refused to let them remove her from your premises and they didn’t know what to do.  You eventually convinced them to allow her to go to the safe home of her grandmother.  If this little innocent girl was placed into a shelter, she may have been lost in the system and destroyed.  Instead she is thriving and loving life.

In my practice I am often faced with children suffering from immense emotional pain.  As that child releases her anguish and broadcasts her fears, I feel honored by the universe.  It is an honor to hear these stories of grief and turmoil.   Sometimes all I can do is listen and other times I can actually do something to alleviate her sorrow.

We are deeply involved in the day to day struggle of children and their families.  Some days are tragic with news of death and destruction.  Other days we witness amazing strength in overcoming adversity.

As Marvin Gaye says, “Save the babies, let’s save the children.”

I love sharing the low points and they highlights with you.  Let’s keep it going for another few decades.

Much Love to You.

Letting go of Grief: Move your Body to Rock and Soul is getting rave reviews!